if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
