Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
