I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
