At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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