he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
