The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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