I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
