k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
worst night to have a conscience
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
