More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's rum buckets o'clock
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
