I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
