we're blogging at a bar
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
