he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
