we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
