She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize