three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
