No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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