I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
