So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
