If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I understand Curling. That high.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
