all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
