I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
