my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
