why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
my poor anus
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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