That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
