we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
