S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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