So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
