Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When did angry sex become our thing?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
