good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
