Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
