Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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