As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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