I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize