I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize