Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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