apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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