We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
