if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
