you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
