when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize