My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
