Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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