She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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