apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
