im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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