Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
