on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
