Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just had sex on a roof
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
