There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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