Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
