WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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