he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
