CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Can I color on your dick again?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
