Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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