you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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