Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do you have feelings for this penis?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
