Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We are two peas in an std pod
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
