I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
