Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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