i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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