Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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